Thursday 29 March 2007

Can't... contain....excitement

oOOOooooOOoooooooOO she's coming she's coming she's coming.......! My Auntie Sue is coming!!

FINALLY, someone decent to talk to. Boy o boy. I mean, I love my Momma and Daddy so much but they don't spoil me often enough. Take today for example, I'm so excited as I'm going to see my Aunt Sue who is at this moment in this very country, and what does Momma do? Take me shopping.

I HATE SHOPPING!

So I let her know.


And I let the rest of the shop know too!

Now I have to nap. NAP? At a time like this? This is like telling a child to go to bed at 6pm on Christmas eve. Parents, they just don't understand.

I've been doing some more drawing today. My Momma is so thrilled by it all (believe me it really doesn't take much). She bought me some special pens. I told her that is says "not suitable for under 36 months" on the packet, but she said, "Benjamin, if you can read warning signs on boxes then you can use pens (under triple adult supervision, without lids, non toxic ink and in your oldest clothes)". I'm quite the little picasso!

Ok, gotta go and nap. Sigh.

More later.

Love

Benjamin
x

Wednesday 28 March 2007

I'm a little star...

Well I am. Today I found out that stars, you know the things that go twinkle twinkle in the night sky are actually gigantic balls of gas. Well... so am I! I tell you, I can really wake myself up with my own, er.... release processes. Trouble is, I wouldn't really care, but Auntie Sue is coming tomorrow and I'm a little embarassed as I want to share my room with her. Has anyone got any tips? My Momma said maybe I should eat more slowly, but, I have to gulp it down whilst it's free. Apparently there'll come a time in my life when I'll have to pay for my own food. I know, shocking isn't it. So I think I better get as much in me as possible, and quickly too.

Am very excited though as I'm going to be cuddled and looked after by my Auntie Sue. My parents are ...well....they're ok but it's nice to have a change.

Gotta get some beauty rest now so I look sharp for my Auntie.

Love

Benjamin

xx

PS The parents STILL haven't got my bed ready. I'm going to be sleeping in THEIR bed soon if they're not careful.

Tuesday 27 March 2007

How many idiots does it take to put a cot together?

OK,

Today was going swimmingly: I had been fed, I was wearing a spunky new outfit (size 6-9 months), I was looking good, feeling good...and then all of a sudden I witnessed a situation almost worthy of a British situation comedy slot on BBC1. Well it would have been comical, IF the stars of the show weren't my PARENTS. How embarrassing.

We were given a lovely cot by a neighbour of Grammy and Grandpapas. Simple, right? NO! The afternoon went like this (I didn't miss a moment of this action as I sat on the futon in my room quietly observing this spectacle). Daddy looks scientifically at all the pieces of the cot and then starts screwing the sides together. Momma, watches Daddy screwing the sides together, whilst barking instructions at him. Daddy sighs a bit. Momma sighs some more. All the sides are screwed together except one. It doesn't quite fit. There aren't enough holes for the screws that are left. Then there is as Daddy manages to find some holes, but the parents can't figure out how to work the sliding side of the cot. Then Momma has a brain wave, as if she recalls a key learning objective from a Craft Design and Technology class she took at her secondary comprehensive school, and figures something out. So they try and put it together. But then they have to unscrew all the side of the cot to fit the side they couldn't fit in before. Lost? Think about how I felt.

And now, I still haven't got a bed to sleep in as my cot is still in pieces. Honestly, if I had control over my arms, I'd just get it done myself. However, I may call in the calvery...Grandpapa...He'll get it done in no time I'm sure, although I think he may have to use sellotape to stick the sides together. He's very good with sellotape.

Anyway, that took up MOST of the day. Sigh. I did do some writing today and picked up a pen for the first time and wrote something down on paper (in code of course - my parents think it's scribble but they've stuck in on the fridge nevertheless).

I'm a bit pooped now. I need to go and dream about eating monsters made from cheesecake. I'd have better dreams if I had a better bed!!

Will write more soon

Love

Benjamin
x

Monday 26 March 2007

Spring has sprung

Well, I'm back and ready for this season change. Momma, Daddy and I sorted out my summer wardrobe and boy am I one fashionable baby. Momma did a lot of "tsking" though as the "doesn't fit anymore" pile seems to have grown considerably.

It's been an exciting weekend. On Saturday I went to see Grandpapa and Grammy. I haven't seen Grandpapa since I was really really tiny (interuption from Momma: Benjamin, you have never been really really tiny). Ok since I was a little bit small but not really small. He's a funny man. He really made me giggle. And he also made me burp. He's been teaching me songs in Chinese about Opium smoking. It may seem like inappropriate material for an infant but Momma says it's helpful to know about these kind of things as it builds up my character.

I'm on a new diet too. I'm getting extra special milk now made from secret magical formulas. This is because my Momma is finding it quite hard to make enough milk (interuption from Momma: no Benjamin, it's because you eat a lot) Oh. But anyway, it tastes nice and it's fun to gulp down. I've noticed that I'm a little more gassy though. But that's ok. I'm sure Momma and Daddy don't mind. I have noticed that we keep having to buy air freshner though.

Daddy and I spent most of the day together today. Momma went down to the town to do some shopping. I hate shopping. It's so boring. When we go together, I make my feelings known loud and clear. I think that's why Momma didn't take me today. She brought me back a special yellow blanket with satin ends. I love pulling it up to my face. I think I'll let her go shopping again soon so she can bring me back more presents. She brought Daddy some presents too. Some corriander and chillies. Uh oh, I think this means they're making extra hot salsa. Well, it'd save them a fortune in diapers if they just stop making it! Sigh!

Anyway, did I tell you my Auntie Sue is coming? I'm saving my special smiles up for her, so she'd better get here soon. Daddy says she's going to be sleeping in MY room. I hope she doesn't snore. No wait, I'm the one who snores. I hope she brings ear plugs. Still, we can have secret pyjama parties when the parents go to bed and eat white chocolate buttons and jelly tots. Hee hee.

OK, I have to go. Apparently, the clocks went forward yesterday. That means, dinner time is different, bed time is different..etc etc... But since I'm a baby, I can't yet tell the time, so therefore I can still wake up when I want too! HA!

Love you all

Benjamin
x

Saturday 24 March 2007

MySpace has eviled me!

Ok, as some of you may be aware, MySpace has done my good self some wrong doing. As a very small baby, I'm terribly hurt and distraught by this evil act again baby humanity. Well I was until I got a bit distracted by my the extra ordinary toy that my grandpapa brought back from Busch Gardens in Florida, and it didn't feel as bad. But anyway, the silly MySpace people deleted my profile as I was UNDERAGE. In other words, the MySpace cretins have either:

1. realised that I'm a super smart 3 month old baby who can type, write blogs and upload photos, and are trying to protect me from men in white coats sent from secret government official to perform experiments on my multi-intelligences, (unlikely).

2. not been able to put 2 and 2 together to realise that it is unlikely that babies can type, write blogs and upload photos, and have deleted my profile because they are stupid, (likely).

Anyway, I'm back, bigger and better than before and this time...it's from the beginning.....

Love Benjamin
xx